Are you tired of those sissy ‘friendship’ poems that always sounded gay , but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of a friendship in the ‘REAL’ world .

1. When you are sad — I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue — I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile — I will know you finally got laid.

4. When you are scared — I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried — I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused — I will use little words.

7. When you are sick — Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don’t want to catch whatever you have.

8. When you fall – I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

9. This is my oath……. I pledge it to the end. ‘Why?’ you may ask; because you are ‘my friend’.

10.Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.