Archive for January, 2007


I’m Bond

On a flight James bond was sitting next to a Telugu guy.

Telugu Guy: “Hello, May I know your name please?”

MR Bond: “My name is Bond” ………..continuing in his inimitable style,“……James Bond.” 

Then Bond asks: “And you?”

Telugu Guy: ” My name is Rao… 

Siva Rao… 

Samba Siva Rao… 

Venkata Samba Siva Rao… 

Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao… 

Rajasekhara Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao… 

Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao… 

Vijayawada Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao… ….

and it went on 

Since, then when anyone asks Bond his name he simply replies “James Bond” 😦


Muslim World


Hussain (AS)

tum nahee rahay,

tumara ghar nahee raha,

per tumaray baad zalimo ka koi dar nahee raha

                                                                                (Iftekhar Arif)                 


LUV actually…

I eat TV and watched the food; I baked books and studied the cakes; I switched off the bed and slept on the fan….this is how crazy I get when I miss you…


Techno Threat



Memorable Quotes from the movie ‘The Depaprted’

Frank Costello: When you decide to be something, you can be it. That’s what they don’t tell you in the  church. When I was your age they would say we can become cops, or criminals. Today, what I’m saying to you is this: when you’re facing a loaded gun, what’s the difference? 


Oliver Queenan: Do you have any idea what we do in our department?
Billy Costigan: As a matter of fact, I do. I…
Dignam: Let’s say you have no idea, zero, none. If you had an idea about we do we wouldn’t be good at what we do now would we? We would be cunts, you callin’ us cunts?


Police Camera Tech: Who the fuck are you?
Dignam: I’m the guy who does his job. You must be the other guy


Colin Sullivan: Just fucking kill me. Just fucking kill me.
Billy Costigan: I am gonna fucking kill you.
[Elevator door opens and Billy is shot in the head]


[Watching Costigan beat up the Providence gangsters, destroying his store in the process]
Pakistani Proprietor: What’s wrong with this fucking country? Everybody hates everybody!





Life is a Sitcom – Series

Hi Folks,

I’ll be sharing with you a series of events that are directly or otherwise related to me and made me realize the fact that Life is actually a sitcom. I am sure that you have already read; 

1)Lost in Translation

2)Bank it like Beckham 

and i hope you have enjoyed them as much as i have while experiencing them.


Bank it like Beckham

Hey listen to this:  Three tomatoes are walking down the street- a poppa tomato, a momma tomato, and a little baby tomato. Baby tomato starts lagging behind. Poppa tomato gets angry, goes over to the baby tomato, and smooshes him… and says, Catch up.   Hehe. I find this joke kinna funny. Do you know what I don’t find funny; Leon’s (people born b/w July 23 to August 22). It’s a universal fact; Leon’s or Leo’s have the worst sense of humor. No disrespect to any brother out there but they know about their sense of humor and how much it sucks.  

  Anyways, last summer was dedicated to football and Zidane’s head butt. I was interning at this place where people love to whine about their favorite team, player and last nights match. The managers and the head staff was one step ahead and use to play football after working hours. I was an average player in my high school team and could kick a ball or two. Therefore, I decided to join them after working hours, as this was one of my plans to increase my P.R. in the office. The plan was well executed by me and here I was in the ground. Surprisingly, everyone appeared to be quite professional, mostly all of them were in shorts and spikes and I was wearing shiny boots and a tie; i.e. the typical office dress.  

Anyway, the match started. I was in the technical support team and we were playing against the finance and marketing department. Everyone in the shorts sucked big-time. I surprisingly turned out to be a better player. I was at my favorite position, defense.  My skipper (who also happens to be the manager) decided to send me forward and on m way he gave me a choice I couldn’t refuse.  

 Skipper: I want you to score three goals.

Ammar: what !?    Skipper: Three goals and you can take a day off. Ammar: Yippee 😀 !!  

Mr. Enthusiastic (me) sprinted and was able to score the first goal. That was so easy, as MR.Goalee (cashier by profession) was cleaning his spectacles. The match was resumed after my (exaggerated form of Shoaib Akhter’s airplane) dance. I after 5 minutes was able to take the ball near opponent’s goal post. There was only one fat ass defender to tackle because for the goal keeper, the ball appeared to be kryptonite. So it was me and the fat ass defender who was wearing his son’s shorts. Now this guy had a physic of Inzimam with the face of Justin Timberlake. In other words he was a typical Pappu (dork).    

Ammar: what? You think you can take the ball from me. Think again!    

I smiled and offered him the ball. He fell into the trap and started running and tried to take the ball from me. I tackled him like a pro and pushed him on my way to the goal post. Mr. Goalie saw the racing ball approaching him and decided to hide his face in his lap. Yippee!!  Another goal, I was doing the airplane thingy and showing off like always. But what the fuck! Nobody from my team was excited in fact everyone gathered around the fat ass defender. My manager was helping him out and pulling him up from the ground.   

 Moral of the story the fat ass guy was the GM and Boss’s son. What do you know my manager who was also a Leo had a sense of humor after all as I was given the day off on Sunday. Speaking of football, David Beckham has decided to move in and play in  Hollywood. What else should I say? He is a very obedient hubbie.  


Wuat the f@#% !!



Random musings # 2

    Tucker MAx :

“Thank god for her sake she’s attractive, otherwise she’d starve to death.”


Zulfi Bhutto of Pakistan (January 5, 1928 – April 4, 1979)

 Remember that ….we shall fight ,and we shall fight for 1,000 years as we have fought for 1,000 years in the past….we can continue !  (ZAB at the United Nations ) 

 The crisis was in our stars was boiling ..nobody could stop it in 1970 .It could have been stopped in 1950 …over the Language issue ..I was nowhere on the scene ..Let us face the truth .If you want to hang me , hang me by all means, but the fact remains that I am not responsible for separation  (ZA Bhutto quoted from a speech to the National Assembly in 1972 )

“Let’s build a monument for the veto. Let’s build a monument for impotence and incapacity.” 

“Yes I do drink wine ..but at least I don`t drink the people`s blood !”

“Pakistan was once called the most allied ally of the United States. We are now the most nonallied.”


A web-blog by another wanna be writer who thinks he can write

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