Hey listen to this: Three tomatoes are walking down the street- a poppa tomato, a momma tomato, and a little baby tomato. Baby tomato starts lagging behind. Poppa tomato gets angry, goes over to the baby tomato, and smooshes him… and says, Catch up. Hehe. I find this joke kinna funny. Do you know what I don’t find funny; Leon’s (people born b/w July 23 to August 22). It’s a universal fact; Leon’s or Leo’s have the worst sense of humor. No disrespect to any brother out there but they know about their sense of humor and how much it sucks.
Anyways, last summer was dedicated to football and Zidane’s head butt. I was interning at this place where people love to whine about their favorite team, player and last nights match. The managers and the head staff was one step ahead and use to play football after working hours. I was an average player in my high school team and could kick a ball or two. Therefore, I decided to join them after working hours, as this was one of my plans to increase my P.R. in the office. The plan was well executed by me and here I was in the ground. Surprisingly, everyone appeared to be quite professional, mostly all of them were in shorts and spikes and I was wearing shiny boots and a tie; i.e. the typical office dress.
Anyway, the match started. I was in the technical support team and we were playing against the finance and marketing department. Everyone in the shorts sucked big-time. I surprisingly turned out to be a better player. I was at my favorite position, defense. My skipper (who also happens to be the manager) decided to send me forward and on m way he gave me a choice I couldn’t refuse.
Skipper: I want you to score three goals.
Ammar: what !? Skipper: Three goals and you can take a day off. Ammar: Yippee 😀 !!
Mr. Enthusiastic (me) sprinted and was able to score the first goal. That was so easy, as MR.Goalee (cashier by profession) was cleaning his spectacles. The match was resumed after my (exaggerated form of Shoaib Akhter’s airplane) dance. I after 5 minutes was able to take the ball near opponent’s goal post. There was only one fat ass defender to tackle because for the goal keeper, the ball appeared to be kryptonite. So it was me and the fat ass defender who was wearing his son’s shorts. Now this guy had a physic of Inzimam with the face of Justin Timberlake. In other words he was a typical Pappu (dork).
Ammar: what? You think you can take the ball from me. Think again!
I smiled and offered him the ball. He fell into the trap and started running and tried to take the ball from me. I tackled him like a pro and pushed him on my way to the goal post. Mr. Goalie saw the racing ball approaching him and decided to hide his face in his lap. Yippee!! Another goal, I was doing the airplane thingy and showing off like always. But what the fuck! Nobody from my team was excited in fact everyone gathered around the fat ass defender. My manager was helping him out and pulling him up from the ground.
Moral of the story the fat ass guy was the GM and Boss’s son. What do you know my manager who was also a Leo had a sense of humor after all as I was given the day off on Sunday. Speaking of football, David Beckham has decided to move in and play in Hollywood. What else should I say? He is a very obedient hubbie.
R O N I N 
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