[Message to the readers: I want my regular readers that are not many, to read this story and don’t give up on reading because its too long. I know its long but i assure you that its very exciting and worth every second you will spend reading it. Other than that if there is something in this tale you find offensive or explicit than I appologize before hand. Thank you very much and ill be waiting for your feedback.
Disclaimer: All the characters, names and situatuons are fictatious and any similarity would be purely coincidental. have a nice day :) ]
The story starts in a class room of a local university……
‘Are we done for the day?’ my first aggravated question of the day.
‘Is it time?’ responded my engineering management teacher.
‘Ofcourse it is. In fact you took the 10 minutes break we have for the next class’
‘What?’ inquired Uzair with what the f*** expression.
[Uzair, a good friend of mine; looks like a boxer but plays awesome cricket. He also happens to be our class representative]
‘Wasn’t I talking to myself?’ I asked him a confused question.
‘Yes you were and by using your vocal chords as an amplifer !’ replied Shabz
[ Shabz aka Shahbaz, another friend who likes to answer every question not directed to him]
‘You are lucky that he is on the cell.’ Uzair informed me of my apparent good luck
Me: ‘Who would like to talk to him?’
Shabz: ‘Most probably; his wife’
Uzair: ‘Poor soul, heh ‘
Me: ‘So what’s the plan for the day?’
Shabz: ‘Same ol’ boring broadband : P what else?!’
Uzair the CR: ‘Well my boy this is your lucky day as apparently its raining in the rest part of the city and the teacher wont be able to make it for the day.’
Me: ‘Bloody traffic jam’, I responded with an exciting grin on my face. Its my way saying one thing and meaning completely apposite.
Shabz: ‘Thank you Mr. CR : P ’
Me: ‘Jam Jam Pakistan.’
[‘dil dil Pakistan Jan Jan Pakistan’ is an all time hit pop song and not to forget patriotic from an old band Vital Signs. My version is called Jam Jam Pakistan, traffic jam ie]
When I got out of the class I couldn’t believe what my eyes were looking at. The day surprisingly turned out to be very beautiful. The whole sky was covered with dark clouds and the cold breeze was turning my romantic side on for good. I was singing James Brown’s ‘I feel good …’
Shabz: ‘Coffee time!’
Me: ‘No thanks; you guys have some ill catch up with you folks later.’ Were to go bazell? I asked myself.
[Bazell is just an uncool madeup name. I call myself Bazell when talking to myself]
I was climbing the steps that lead to the roof of my departments building, that I saw Zara on the second floor sitting on a bench.
[She’s a junior, a nice friend. Popular among guys cuz of her looks and have a boyfriend Kareem. Kareem is a fat irritated guy and the only one of the few guys who wears a moustache in our University. Not to forget he is very uncomfortable for some obvious reasons when I am around Zara. I take advantage of the situation and stick around more to make him jealous.]
Me: Hi wasap
Zara: ‘Hello aMmAr’, she smiled =)
Me: ‘Where is your bodyguard?’ I looked around after completing my sentence.
Zara: ‘Heh, shut up he is not my body guard.’ She replied in a very pleasant manner.
Me: ‘Nah of course he’s not in fact he is a very sweet guy: P’ I mocked him behind his back. I enjoy doing that.
Zara: ‘Any doubts?’ she inquired with a smile.
Me: ‘No its just looks could be deceptive: P’, I indirectly pointed out his moustache, uneven looks and the weird smile he wears on his face all the time.
Zara: ‘Heh. Shut it Ammar.’ She giggled on my tease.
‘What a wonderful day and look at us stuck here in this part of the world that really sucks.’ I continued.
Zara: ‘So you guys should go out and have some fun.’
Me: ‘Guys? Zara that’s the gayest idea you have ever given to me.’ I replied with a cynical face.
‘Look at the sky it’s so romantic out here and you are suggesting me to hang out with guys.’ I went on with my tale.
Zara: ‘Okay okay so go out and enjoy with your girl friend.’
Me: ‘Girl friend hmmm not a bad idea but there is lil problem, it’s just I wanted to have fun. And secondly she died few days ago.’
Zara: ‘What? How come?’, she was completely shocked and was looking at me with her disbelieving eyes.
‘I dunno, it was on the news that somebody pushed her in front of the bus.’ I replied with a straight face.
Zara: ‘What?’, she asked and was about to gag on this one.
Me: ‘Haha… I was just kidding. She’s out of the town.’
Zara: ‘Okay’, a relieved reply from her
Me: ‘Adios’, I departed
I took full advantage of the non sunny day and played some exciting football. Too bad I missed some chances to goal but what the hell we Pakistani suck at any sport we play, we are only good at not being good at anything and that includes football. I was feeling thirsty and therefore decided to get a drink. On the cafeteria door step a bunch of bullies were standing in a circle and in the middle some guy was telling ‘em some shaggy dog story. They were lauging their heart out on that one. That guy was none other than faggy.
[Faggy, who is formally known as Fahad Ferzand Khan aka Fraddy. But I preferred calling him Fag-gie the fag lord. He is straight alright but I love picking on him. Some thing he despise a lot. Faggies parent came from Peshawar to Karachi 10 years ago and run a big transportation business here.]
Me: Faggy ma boy?
Faggie: ‘Dude! Don’t call me that please and especially not in front my dudes.’
[Faggie is considered to be the know it all kind of a guy and very much respected in his gang for some strange reason.]
Me: ‘So why are these guys surrounding you. You are not showing your special belly dance or are you?’
Faggie: ‘Ammar Bhai plzzz ;(…’ , he looked at me with pleading eyes.
Me:’Okay okay. Hey have you seen shabz?’
Faggie: ‘Yeah I saw him going to the library.’
Me: ‘And obee 1 kanobi ?’
[obee 1 kanobi is obaid he is like a Jedaai and have an answer for anything like google.]
Faggie: ‘General lab.’
Me in a mocking manner: ‘Oaye hoay!. Faggy stop being such fag-tard and quit stocking guys. Haha’
All of his gang joined me laughing at him. Every one except of Faggie had a great laugh for five minutes or so on this one. On my way to the library I met Sania. [The cute nerdy girl who gets straight A’s in the class a good friend as well. She’s all intelligent but confused and I enjoy teasing her as well. How evil of me]
Sania: Hii ?? it was her answer but sounded like a question to me
Me: ‘How you doing?😉’, my Joey way of saying stuff.
Sania: Im guud…. How abtya?
Me: Not bad. Hey I want to ask you something?, I was upto no good and decided to scare her a little.
Sania:’Well no.’ a surprisingly unexpected reply to the question I didn’t asked yet.
Me:I haven’t ask anything yet.
Sania: ‘I know whatchya gonna ask.’ How on earth she knows? Is she psychic?
Me:Are you Oracle from Matrix?
‘No idiot. I haven’t done the routing assignment yet. Okay, I have been telling that to the whole nation for the past 2 hours. You are the 10th one to ask.’ She replied
Me:’Did I say anything about the assignment: P
‘Come to think of it….. no =)’, she mouthed
Sania: ‘So what you want to ask?’
Me: Can I flirt with you?, I said it with all the confidence in the world. I am a good actor.
[Can I flirt with you; my all time favorite pick up line never fails.]
What?, she was looking at me with disbelief.
Yeah…harmless flirting that is it. Well?, It was so much fun teasing her.
Sania ‘Aaaah…aaah’, the cat caught her tongue.
Me:‘Ha ha ha kidding😛 stoopid you are a virgo.’
Good. Here comes the library. She replied with a sign of relief in her voice and on her face
Can you find me radar and navigation’s reference book? She reqested.
The engineering section was very secluded and needed a proper dusting because some of the books were covered with spider web. I took out one book; that appeared to be relevant from the shelf. As my eyes were fixed on the shelf when I was removing the book from the ledge my eyes met hers. I gave a smile and surprisingly she replied with a grin.
[her: I guess she was new never saw her in the University before. She was a hawtie and not some stupid blonde hottie the one with a brain(rare specie, that expalined her presence in the library) my favorite.]
She was wearing a beautiful fragrance. I used it as a pickup line and tried to guess the perfume. I was nothing close to the correct answer, what the hell I was thinking I am no Al-Pacino from ‘Scent of a Woman’. But I didn’t give up on her and gave her an offer she couldn’t refuse.
“Do we know each other?” she inquired
Me: “Why, do you think we’re going to? Because I already know an awful lot of people and until one of them dies I couldn’t possibly meet anyone else.”
“Well, if anyone goes on the critical list, let me know.” And she smiled
Me: “Wow is that real?”
She asked: What? Me: The smile on your face, It’s the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Hehe. She continued to smile
She asked :”You came to this section of the library to see me, didn’t you?”
Me: “What if it wasn’t you I came here to see?”
5 seconds of pause “
Well, you got lucky” she mouthed
I smiled =)
I leaned in, turned my head slightly and placed a kiss on her lips.
Shabz:’Oye here you are. What are you doing?’
Me:I’m trying to find a book here. ‘ ‘No, you were checking out that hot chic’. He expclaimed
[actually he was right I was staring the girl and she was staring me back sort of😛 but I could have gone upto her but I missed my chance to dancei was to busy naking up a plan.]
Me:’Can you be any more loud😛’
[he was very loud and clear. This stupid act made her leave. Well that’s what I told shabz]
‘Godammit now shes gone.’ I gave a disappointed gesture
Shabz:What’s wrong with you, we have a quiz in the next class and we are getting late for it and yeah, stop teasing faggy he was very furious.lollz
And both of us came out of the library closing the door right behind us.