Paheli

Babies haven’t any hair;

Old men’s heads are just as bare;

Between the cradle and the grave

Lie a haircut and a shave.

–Samuel Hoffenstein.

too many pathaans for one day….

 Friday night and I decided to have an eating out session with my buds from the university. We drove all the way to the end of the city. Uzair was driving his mehran. ‘Uzair’ is the best run away driver available in Karachi if you have done some bank robbery and you want to get away in a jiffy. But than if you’ve done any bank robbery. He drives really fast, almost kills 3-4 pedestrians everyday; I repeat ‘almost’.

 On arriving there we found the place jam packed. Saturday Night, famous family restaurant. what else one can expect. The big screen was showing some Indian movie.  We decided to leave the premises at once. Uzair came up with an idea, ‘hey aMmAr wanna eat pathaan food.’ You make pathaan sound like aliens or foreigners. Well ok, I replied.  Uzair is quite a dangerous customer when he’s  in his angry or romantic mood. You don’t like to be around him in either case,  tonight he was in both. We rushed from one end of the city to the other in not more than 15 minutes; I told you he was fast and yeah we almost hit 2 motor bikes, 1 car and 4 pedestrians on our way. So it was after all a safe ride   😛  

After parking the car I realized that the place was a mini Afghanistan in Karachi as there were pathaans every where. I exclaimed, ‘ Guys I just lost my appetite. Too many pathaans for an evening.’

 Obaid: ‘ aMmAr shut up and don’t look cute for some hours. It’s good  for your own health.’

  ‘Thanks for the compliment my friend, I’ll try to look like you instead’ I snapped

We were made to sit on a charpaaee, with carpet and cushions on it, a very typical traditional deco for a resturant like this. The area was still encircled by Afghanis but these were different not pathaans but surprisingly Persian Afghanis.

 Uzair murmured something in the ear of the waiter.  I read his lips they were not more than 3 or 4 words. But to my surprise the waiter exclaimed to the chef; ‘ dagha daiii waii dhish pish dharr dharr tisha wishwish dharka dharka dharka dharka dharka dharka dharka dharka dharka dharka dharka dharka dharka dharka dharka dharka dharka dharka dharka dharka dharka dharka.;

Me: ‘ Uzair you didn’t accidently said anything to his sister or wife or something or didya?’

Uzair:  nah …. I just…

 but the waiter continued………. Dagha dish disssh dharaka dharka…………………….. 

Me: what on earth did you order?

Obaid replied instead: 3 plates of Rice and some Seekh Kababs.

Me:  ok-kay, guud!!

The seekh kababs were of some poor sheep and the rice had sweet beans. We had traditional Persian food I believe or that what I was told. I was informed that the area is kinda dangerous and you can easily get all the illegal items here if one wants. My reply was thanks but no thanks. I’m not in a whacky mood after all.

 Before leaving, I tipped the waiter and asked him to inform the chef that ‘ the meal was deliciously awsome’. He shouted, ‘ kanaa dish phissshhhhh, laka tjan than thirrrr thisrrrrrr, darka darka darka darka darka darka darka darka darka darka darka darka darka darka darka darka darka darka darka darka….. and he went on, interesting language eh?

Pseudo Westernization

 

Much has been said and written on the religious extremism or Talibanization which is damaging or attempting to injure the mindset of a particular section of the Pakistani society who is both under privileged and hence not much educated. They have little or no choice but spend their children to Madrasas and their mostly all you get is a way of living which hardly helps you to be the prolific member of the society.

Now take the example of Jamay-e-Hafsa, its timing coincides with the biggest trial in the history of the country. Government is receiving indirect help from these extremist clerics. But some sane and rather educated people mostly university and college students are affirming their demands. According to their point of view Musharraf’s enlightened Islam has nothing to do with Islam or the social and cultural values of the country. My argument is Pakistan was made by people who were both educated and tolerant. The so called Isalmists consider the father of the nation a non Muslim because of his sect but yes; there should be a knob on so called enlightenment of the country as well.

 

I speck VJ’s using abuses like shit on the tele. PEMRA should device a much needed censorship policy. If some TV channels in the USA allow nudity, violence and strong language in their programs they make sure that every one is aware of it. Under-18 viewers are not allowed to watch Sopranos due to its strong contents but when the first season of this hit series was aired on TV ONE it went completely uncensored. Now take the example of Begum Nawazish Ali, the guy whose impersonating the character is politically sound, educated and aesthetic but still airing it on the tele during prime time when the kids along with their parents can watch a 20 something guy impersonating 50 something women who bluntly flirts with its male guests. What impact is expected on the minds of a 10 year old or younger? These programs should be given late night hours to be aired.

This pseudo westernization will not help our country to prosper as an economic power but we’ll endup neing a bunch of wanna bee’s that love to appear like some GORAAA. Be ourselves is all that we should be doing.

I’m running out of dayzzzz

There’s too much work and I’m spent
There’s too much pressure and I admit
I’ve got no time to move ahead
Have you heard one thing that I’ve said

And all these little things in life
They all create this haze
There’s too many things to get done
And I’m running out of days

I can’t last here for long
I feel this current it’s so strong
It gets me further down the line
It gets me closer to the line

And all these little things in life
They all create this haze
There’s too many things to get done
And I’m running out of days

All these little things in life
They all create this haze
There’s too many things to get done
And I’m running out of days

Well all these little things in life they all create this haze
And now I’m running out of time
I can’t see through this haze
My friend tell me why
It has to be this way
There’s too many things to get done, and I’m running out of days

(3 doors down)

Talking Cricket

 

 

Maulay noo maula na maraay te maula na-ii mardaa

Translation: No one can kill maula but maula himself.

There aren’t many dialogues from the Pakistani film industry that are as popular as the dialogues from Bollywood or Hollywood motion pictures. But the old Punjabi feature film ‘ Maula Jutt’ had all the elements that makes a Pakistani commercial film a big success. It had dances in the rain, ugly looking villains and a much uglier male protagonist, a fat cow for a heroin/ female lead actress and more rain dances. But the thing which made Muala Jutt a big big success was its dialogues. Even a non Punjabi speaking guy like me enjoyed every bit of it.

I remember the time when I was watching the movie, it made me both weep and laugh but on scenes where I was not suppose to laugh or cry respectively. The fat guy sitting besides me asked in Punjabi ‘ tussi film wheknay aaaye ho, kee kernay aye ho ?’ translation ; ‘Are you here to watch the movie or what?’ my humble reply was ‘ mai kee kernay aya hoo !! ‘im here todo the kee’

Anyway the reason that I’m sharing all of this is not because I ve dropped the idea of becoming a telecom engineer but to become a film critic. Although the other job suits me well but I am telling you all of this because the above mentioned dialogue can so be related to the current sports scenario. The other day a friend of mine asked me the most popular question of the season.

Who killed uncle Bob?…………………. No 😛

Is Ali Zafar really Gay? …………………yes, he is but that’s not the question.

When Ash and Abhishek are getting married?……………….who gives a shit !! And again wrong question.

Amir or Sharukh the better actor? ……………..am I on Coffee with Karan with no jauhar.

Okay the question is WHO WILLWIN THE WC-2007?? I repeat WHO WILLWIN THE WC-2007??

My answer:

Maulay noo maula na maraay te maula na-ii mardaa

Yes, No one can beat Australia but Australia itself. Yeah yeh cricket is by chance and shit. The team that will better perform on the respective day will take the trophy home. But the fact will remain that there is no better team than Australia in the cricketing world today and you need to get another Australian team that can challenge the first team.

Comfortably Dumb (Jamay e Qabza)

 

We can take law in our hands and do whatever we feel like,

Kawa bangaa !!

Empathy

 

It’s a natural phenomenon that kids enjoy playing with toys and if we talk about young boys than being a man I like to confess that no other toy ever gave me the amount of pleasure which I use to get while playing with my toy gun. Last summer when my American uncle visited Pakistan much to his annoyance I bought his son a toy gun, little Himmayat aka Heemo on one incident pointed a gun at me and exclaimed ‘I’ll kill’ya !’.Instantly my unlce notified the reason that why he never allows his son to have a toy gun and yes indeed keeping the American phsychology in mind the reason was very well justified. But I still love guns and my favorite pc game is Counter Strike. Maybe it’s the effect of the movies where the good, bad and the ugly men use to gun fight and in the end everything use to get fine. The portrayal of mass murdering and ruthless killing is depicted so aesthetically that looks way to cooler than what it actually is in reality.

Similar words are mouthed by analysts on the tele all over the world. Every one is trying to find out the psychological void which led the whole incidence to take place in Virginia University. There are bullies in every university, school, and college in each part of the world. But what’s the difference that specially makes the American students to react like this again and again. Is it culture, religion? Or the embarrassment for not being perfect (cool) enough, in a society where every one is in a rat race to achieve cosmetic perfection.

Hundreds of people die every week in the Middle East most of them are murdered, nobody gives a shit. Who to blame? I blame the people of Middle East for making their land such a dustbin in the first place. They allowed dictators to rule them for years and years, what else they expected their future will turn out like. Similarly if another quite American student who is called a dork by his class mates; decides that enough is enough and now ‘its my way or the high way’ than I cant help myself judging such a society. Where the parameters of judgment is based upon the factor; whether anything is ‘legal or not’ and not on the basis of morality ie ‘rite or wrong’.

Memorable quotes from ‘Casino Royale’

Mr. White: Hello? [On the phone]

James Bond: Mr. White? We need to talk.

Mr. White: Who is this?

James Bond: The name’s Bond. James Bond.

 

James Bond: So you want me to be half-monk, half-hit man.

M: Any thug can kill. I need you to take your ego out of the equation.

Solange: You like married women, don’t you James?

James Bond: It keeps things simple.

Solange: What is it about bad men? [Pause]  You, my husband…….I had so many chances to be happy… so many nice guys…why cant nice guys be more like you?

James Bond: Well, because than they’d be bad.

Solange: Yes…..But so much more interesting.

Vesper Lynd: Am I going to have a problem with you, Mr. Bond?

James Bond: No, don’t worry, you’re not my type.

Vesper Lynd: Smart?

James Bond: Single!

Vesper Lynd: I can’t resist waking you. Every time I do, you look at me as if you hadn’t seen me in years. Makes me feel reborn…

James Bond: If you had just been born wouldn’t you be naked?

Vesper Lynd: You got me there [smiles]

James Bond: I’m sorry I’m not sorry. 

11/04/07

 

‘ merii har baat be-asar hi rahii….

 nuqs hai kuchh mere bayaan mein kyaa ??…. ‘

 

 

 

nuqs=fault;

bayaan=method of expression

Talk about Life….