02
Sep
07

Its all about making your life…Dess-ent

 

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Shabz: Do you know what’s the new Nazim of Karachi (mayor) has promised?

aMmAr: Hmmm… No

Shabz: To make the city Dess-ent 😛

aMmAr: Dess-ent ? :S

Shabz: Yes 🙂

aMmAr: What does that mean?

Shabz: I tried to look into the dictionary but failed to find the word “Dess-ent”

aMmAr: I am sure he meant decent 😛

Shabz: So it took you five minutes to figure that out, you idiot 😛 But he said all his efforts will be to make Karachi a Dess-ent city.

aMmAr: Ok ..

Shabz: According to him; He will the improve the standard of living and quality of education so that when a karachiite will wakeup in the morning he can tell himself “Man I am living in a dess-ent city.”

aMmAr: Hmm..man; the guy is quite emotional about it … heh 😛

Shabz: Yeh! I saw some tears in his eyes when he uttered those words.

aMmAr: Ok..

After few months the new Nazim Mustafa Kamal drilled or hollowed the whole city out. The overly populated city of Karachi faced worst traffic jams as there were hardly any alternative routes available for those exhumed roads. People panicked but the city government ensured that these measures are taken for the construction of new highways, fly over and bridges and above all to make our life style dess-ent.

aMmAr: dude they burrowed the whole city.

Shabz: I know..

aMmAr: How can you start several numbers of projects all at same time.

Shabz: One word my friend… Dess-ent!

aMmAr: Shut the f*** up man…one should name him Mustafa Khudaaal (miner) instead of Mustafa Kamal.

Shabz: Dess-ent!!

aMmAr: Yeah whatever…

Within two years to everyone’s surprise the city government actually was able to complete majority of the projects on time. But as we all know that every week 3oo cars contribute to the city’s traffic. So the traffic jam situation became worse then ever. But some people were very happy of the city government. Like my friend O. I would like to inform you that O is a Behari and Beharis in Karachi distinctively contribute a lot to the Jokes and Gag industry like Pathaans, Sardars and Memons (Gujrati). Yes we humans are racists and love to make racial comments. But that’s not the point here; the point is that O can’t get over the fact that he is a Behari like any other Behari in Karachi. How typical 😛

O: man you know what!?

aMmAr: Now what?!

O: You know the Nazim Mustafa Kamal.

aMmAr: Yes..

O: he is a Behari aswell 🙂 [..He uttered those words very proudly]

aMmAr: So?

Shabz: So that includes another great Behari in the long list.

aMmAr: Get over it Obaid. The list is too small in comparison with my great UP (Utter Pradesh) list. [My parents are from UP]

O: Shut the f*** up. I have Laloo Parsaad, Shehker Suman, Manoj Bajpai, The Buddha and George Orwell.

aMmAr: George Orwell was an English man and I am not having this conversation again.

O: go check out wikipedia man he was born in Behar 😛

aMmAr: Screw you and your list. You know who the greatest Behari of all time is.

O: Mrs. Laloo Parsaad ?!

aMmAr: Wrong answer. The correct answer is ‘I don’t give a shit 😛 ‘

As the elections are getting near the city government is trying to strengthen its popularity among the people and by starting new projects all over the city once again. But this time things are getting a little too difficult.

The other day when I was surfing on the internet; all of a sudden a network unplugged sign appeared on my screen. I called my cable guy to enquire what the hell just happened and he told me that the authorities are planning to construct something and they literally chopped of all the poles from the ground. As result the fiber cable (rest in peace) is lying on the road like a poor Iraqi and I am trying to collect it asap.

I called shabz to inquire if he was facing the same problem…

aMmAr: dude they chopped off my cable.

Shabz: Who?

aMmAr: the authority. The whole area is like Afghanistan.

Shabz Dess-ent

aMmAr: No internet man :@ I’ll die

Shabz: Dess-ent

This morning my poor cousins crash into our house, because the authorities chopped their electrical poles off as well and there won’t be any electricity for another day. Remind you they live in a highly secured and comparatively sophisticated area ie ASKARI-IV. Not to forget the bridge that collapsed yesterday. I know the city govt. is trying to make our life decent but in order to make one thing better tearing down the rest of the infrastructure is not understandable. One can only hope that things don’t get any worse in the near future. As in the past we have seen that it rains rite after they drill something up

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15 Responses to “Its all about making your life…Dess-ent”


  1. September 3, 2007 at 8:44 am

    One can’t expect more from three morons, now, can one?

    As far as the chopping of cables is conerned: They are pushing the power and comms cables underground.

  2. September 3, 2007 at 10:31 am

    not at ASKARI-IV you idiot and if you if you have noticed they actually chopped the poles of like trees from LASANIA to MIllinieum mall.

  3. September 3, 2007 at 11:31 am

    lolzzz.. hahahaha.. good one man!!

  4. 5 maliha11
    September 3, 2007 at 1:38 pm

    i don’t know when will all this stop this is so frustrating i mean our city has lost the ability to be safe, or heck anything its being impossible to live here and not knowing when are you going to die next …

  5. September 3, 2007 at 4:04 pm

    BTW Ammar, as I was reading your post I couldnt help but draw a parallel b/w the word desent and dess-ent. I am sure the pun was intended. Anywho, nicely done.

  6. September 3, 2007 at 6:53 pm

    @ Asim

    Thnx a lot ol pal

    @Maliha

    relax i am sure things will get better. after its Karachi and we have seen worst but we survived didn we 🙂

    @Taimoor

    I am glad tht found it funny 🙂

    sometimes its hard to fig. out whether the readers will find it equally amusing or its just me.

  7. September 4, 2007 at 11:56 am

    If you want the greatest Bihari on earth please feel free 🙂 to have him . We will be only to glad to gift it to our neighbours. We have more of his kind from UP and other states as well.
    Very funny. keep it up.

  8. September 5, 2007 at 3:25 pm

    The word said by Mustafa Kamal cannot be “dess-ent”, it must be decent. I don’t think that a person who has earned his MBA in Marketing from the University of Wales (UK) cannot say a simple word.

    Also the problems that v were facing in Karachi from past 2-3 years, are now looks like too much. The traffic jam is like a fashion to us. on my way to home or to uni, I normally waste 30 + min in traffic jam. Lets c wht happens in next election.

  9. September 6, 2007 at 7:07 am

    @Pr3rna

    Dunno about anyone from Bihar but Sharukh Khan is from Delhi,UP we can have him for some time 😉

    @ Hassan

    Dil pai mat lai yar 😉

    By the way Choudry Shujaat also has UK degree ‘ believe it or not ‘

    Traffic jam is no fashion its a reality and im afraid things are not be going to any better.

  10. 11 lubz
    September 6, 2007 at 12:01 pm

    Mustafa Khudaal 😀
    My dad is in City Goverment so i get to hear lots of dessent jokes aka sulwatae from almost everybone..
    I used to tell all those people who used to annoy me ; “Sudhrae taho werna tumharae ghar kae saamnae wala road khudwadu gi!” apparently now i don’t have to since almost every road in Karachi is upside down!

  11. September 6, 2007 at 4:13 pm

    @ aMmAr

    Well regarding Chaudri Shujhat, I don’t want to believe on wikipedia.

    @ lubz

    Wow ! kiya zabardast dhamki hai road khudwanae ki.

  12. September 7, 2007 at 2:18 am

    at one time Mumbai and Karachi were called twin cities due to their similarities (i think)
    things haven’t changed much ! same here bad roads and bottlenecks
    as prerna says India can easily sustain the migration of biharis and up walas to pakistan happily as it is mumbai is oversaturated with them lol 🙂

  13. September 8, 2007 at 5:17 am

    Absolutely not!!!!!!!! It is difficult saying no to you but Shahrukh no!!!!!!!. We have another guy from Delhi Shakti Kapoor he is all yours 🙂 . If I am in a generous mood may be we can give away Salman Khan because the future of our wild life is bleak as long as he is around. Please buy him a DESSENT 🙂 shirt otherwise some MMA guy may make him a target.

  14. September 8, 2007 at 11:56 am

    Interesting LUBZ 🙂

    i threaten ppl by tsaying; ‘ Dont make me write about you 😛 … ‘

    @ pr3rna

    thanx but no thanx you can keep all of em 😀 lollz

    @ Prax

    Karachiites can relate to Mumbai dwellers on quite many issues. Karachi is a mini PAKISTAN. i guess the same holds true for Mumbai aswell, accordingly ie


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A web-blog by another wanna be writer who thinks he can write

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