Latest on Ronin 2.0

Latest Posts on Ronin 2.0 :

1)The taken for granted Syndrome by Becca Nadir

2) Tagged!

3) Tum Merey Pass hotay ho goya by Momin Khan Momin

4) Techno Chicks

5) Karachi the City that Never Sleeps

new posts on ronin 2.0

Here are some exciting new posts you can catch on ronin 2.0

1. Now this makes sense
2. Room 404
3. The 2nd Floor
4. The Art of Selling
5. Danny’s World
   

Dave Chapelle; the funniest man on the planet [NSFW]

 Note: This stuff is humorous but contains strong language, which apparently the common language of today 😛 I wanted to share some of Dave’s best stand ups skits. Have a look and enjoy your weekend.

More on =========> “ronin 2.0” 

Things to do when ‘Bijlee’ (electricity) is out!

Sizzling summers have yet to come but the love hate relationship between WAPDA and KESC struck the Karchiites yesterday morning.  Auntie Bijlee was out for 12 or more hours in many parts of the Karachi city. Yippeee!! 😀

More on ronin 2.0

Man Woman and technicalities

it takes only one flip-flop switch to control a man, and for a woman you need a whole freaking control panel

more on ronin 2.o 

Lets talk about good Music

 

 

Bored of Election coverage and who will become the NeXt Prime Minister chat? Do your girl friend bugs you with the same [Do I look fat to you?] question over and over again and you can’t tell the truth? Does your mum don’t put right quantity of salt in your salun or your office’s cabin mate find it okay to pick nose in front of you. If all these or some of these problems are troubling you and you just want to get all relaxed this weekend, then not to worry because Master Ronin [ie me 😉 ] have some quality muzik for ya 🙂

 

And I aint just talking about wanna be singers like Besura Himesh, Mela Atif Aslam or Chicken Ali Zafar 😛 I am talking about class, sur and sangeet all combined in one man; whose voice is legendary and whose name is known to everyone who loves muzik; yep I am talking about Muhammed Rafi, the most popular playback singer in the subcontinent.

 

Here are my favorite five, you can thank me in the comment section 😛

 

 

1) Tum Jo milgaye ho:

Madan Mohans melody and Rafi’s mesmerizing voice makes you do things that only loverz do 😉 and I mean in a good romantic sense 😛 As far as the video goes, we see a good looking, clean shaven taxi driver who’s more interested in sneaking at the female passenger in the back. Not quite possible to remain in their good moods while driving in todays busy roads. My message to all the lovers out there; don’t try this on road 😛

 

 

 

 

2) Chalkaye Jaam:

There is this association of Urdu poetry with the bartender (saqi), glasses filled whith wine (Jaam not Jam Jelly) and booze. Despite the fact that alcohol is prohibited in the religion, Muslim poets are found guilty of using these terms again and again and again 😛

 

 

Why? I’ll ask chacha Ghalib in the after life. Watch this video, needless to say that how much I adoreeeeeeeeee this song, lyrics and muzikaaa. Horrible video though 😛

 

 

 

 

3) Likhey Jo khat Tuje:

Wah! What a beautifoooooooool concept 🙂 At this age of internet lovers don’t write letters though sms’s and emails are doing the trick. And it aint romantic whining about it 😛 The video is comparatively good. It features my favorite Kapoor; Shashi. No I wasn’t talking about Kareeena 😛

 

 

 

 

4) Chand Mera Dil

Yes the moon is another term which is dragged in the urdu poetry. The moon has always been compared from the heroin. I wonder if Mr.Moon or Chanda Mamoo knew what are they doing with his name and fame. His response might be;

 

 

‘Big deal if I have a black mark on my face and your slutty gurl friend is all perfect. Get ova it 😛 and go f*ck urself :P’

 

 

This video is the best of all others on this post. RD BURMAN immortal music and great voice of you know who 😉

 

 

5) Gulabi Ankhein:

The most romantic song of all times 🙂

Back in the 60’s there were no dance moves or discos. So the couples were left unguarded [no maali/gardener] in these public parks. I guess they didn’t know how to make out despite all the privacy so all they thought of doing was jumping, running and rolling on the ground for no reason.

 

Its spamming men!

Election Campaign 2008; Twist and Shout!!

As the day of elections is getting nearer the sound of the songs of political parties are getting louder and louder and louder. You walk out of your house and you will find young men shaking their thing not on the dance floor but on the main road 😛 Party workers find the songs and dances important, some people find it funny and normal people like me find it weird.

 

Today I would like to talk about the top songs that have (not) moved the nation off their feet and urged them to dance their breath out 😛

 

Topping the charts is the song that I have learned by heart like all the other Karachiites. Its;

1) Muzlomo ka Saaathi by MQM;

 

Its not that I love the song, or lyrics or the fact that the melodious music made me learn it by heart. But the place I use to live for the past 3 elections and the place where I am living right now is accidentally near the election office of MQM. The song starts with the word which suggests us of a certain product which should not be named in public for some reason. No wonder both our population and patients of AIDS are increasing with every minute. But it’s the most popular song of all election time. It’s like Dil Dil Pakistan of elections.

 

2) Jiye Bhutto benazir by PPPP;

Now this song makes you dance, the makrani ishtyle. You know what I am talking about right 😉 Yes it’s second on our charts and it rocks. When the late Bhutto was returning from exile and her party workers were all jubilant on her return. I saw a group of 20 odd dancing on main Shah rah –e- Faisal, one of the busiest roads of Karachi city. I dunno about any of you guys but right now I am dancing on this number; the makrani ishtyleeee 😉

3) Shair( Lion) Hamaraa by PML-N

 

By ‘Share’ the poet meant the lion, and not the stock exchange’s share market 😛 Now this song is brand new in comparison to the top 2 songs. But I like the song, especially the ‘aaaaaaaaaaah……aaaaahhhh..aaaaaaaahhhhhh’ in the background. You cant dance on this song though, but it makes you all ready to vote for the guy in the toupee (ie Nawaz and Shahbaz) 😀

 

4) Chacha wardi landaa kyun nahee byMusharraf

 

Uncle why don’t you take your uniform off!! This is a promotional song by Musharraf’s well-wishers. The title suggests other wise but don’t concentrate on the lyrics, images, video, or the fact that he was ill-leagally elected in uniform or what mess the country is in today thanks to Chacha Musharraf. Please ignore all the opposition propaganda; eat your chicken and drink your cold beer.

 

And you thought I didn’t get songs for PML-Q and MMA, think again. Just because they have little or no public support it doesn’t mean they don’t have the right to campaign and make songs.

 

Have a lovely election season. Those who don’t know how to dance tap their fingers and jump on one foot. Those who don’t have roti, can eat bread instead. Those who don’t have electricity can borrow it from China. This last video is rated and contains strong words and abuses. Watch at your own risk.

Good ol’ days!

NYPD blues…

 

For those who are following the US-election 2008 or those who just tuned into CNN this morning like me are aware of Hillary Clinton’s comeback in the state of Now Hampshire. While the rest who have little or no interest in US politics or politics at all can also read on as this post is not totally about politics

For those who don’t know these elections are party elections, yes the one that hardly happens in countries like Burma , Nepal , Jordan and Saudia. Pardon me if I am missing any country out as my eye sight is kinda weak Anyways the candidates that qualify from these party elections will run for President next year.

If I state; that this time elections in USA are quite interesting then it would not be an understatement. Total of 16 candidates (8 Democrats and 8 Republicans) showed their interest this time. Considering the fact, that if someone like Bush can make it to the white house twice then they surely had a shot. I myself had a similar feeling when Matt Damon was announced the new People’s magazine;” Sexiest men on Earth.

But the Democrats from the very beginning are making headlines. As this time there is a chance for the very first Woman or Black Presidential candidate. Yes, you heard me. A Black guy running for President, even Samuel L. Jackson was as surprised as you are when he first heard the news. I am sure many of you heard have heard about a Sen. Barrack Hussein Obama who preferred to be entitled as Sen. Barrack Obama or Daddy O. to make the battle more interesting talk show host Oprah Winfrey and Oscar Winner Denzel Washington are endorsing Obama. According to Oprah this is the very first time I am endorsing any Presidential candidate. When asked why this time? She exclaimed, two words, Nice Ass!! What did you think? Denzel saw this as an opportunity for another impersonation of a real life character that might take him to the Oscars again.

Are you talking to me??

No Mr. De Niro, phew! Close call.

If you look at the Ms. Clintons camp, she has Bill and his legacy [excluding Monica ;)]. Plus she’s a woman! So morally and ethically all the feminists should be supporting her. But do feminists have morals? What not is possible in this modern era of medical science? [Bad joke, I take it back Asma Jehangir aunty ]

So who’s winning? Daddy O! He has shown some tough time to his party mates. His win in the state of Ohio made the pundits declare that it would be checkers for Sen. Obama. But Senator Hillary Clinton used her super feminist’s power. And that was TEARS!! Yea she cried after loosing at Ohio and the next thing you know she won today at New Hampshire . Political pundits are surprised that how can some tears make the voters vote for her. Well political pundits were found to be unmarried and most of those fags didn’t date something similar to a woman in ages.

But it’s a close contest, and Ms. Hillary has to offer more than just tears to win this one. Most importantly; who will be better for us? Hmm… well considering the mess our country is in today. Only Captain Planet can save us, or the Genie from Aladdin’s Lamp.

Inspectorrrr Sahib…Inspectorrrr Sahib !!

 

tomato…tomaaaato

Merry Xmas

Eid Muabarak

 

Height:  4’3’’

Weight: 64 Kgs

Color: Weatish,

I named him Rawalpindi express. He is my Goat for qurbani (sacrifice) and has a serious attitude problem. When I visited the Bakra Mandi (Barn) this morning I was looking out for a cute fellow in affordable range. When the sales person or Chacha was handing him over to me he advised me to watch out for him because nobody in the past dared to tie him up and he has a bit attitude problem.

Yeah rite 😛 I told myself. But after few hours people found me running after my Goat (Rawalpindi Express) on the streets. Turns out that  Chacha was right.I hope nobody was filming that. Don’t want to be on youtube for wrong reasons. Eid-ul Azha aka Bekra Eid aka the Big Eid is the event with huge religious importance. It highlights the sacrifices made by Prophet Ibrahim (AS) and his family. And since then we reenact the incident.

 

I am sure you all of you are aware of the Christmas carol. Well here in Pakistan we have something close to that, like a Bekra Eid carol of our own. After every few hours you will hear the young ones singing and screaming. Guuy Aai Guuy Aai (Here comes the cow, here comes the cow).     

Speaking of cows; a cow from Pakistan called her sister cow in India for some last minute goodbye.

Pakistani Cow: How you doing gurl ??

Indian Cow: never been better 😀

Pakistani Cow: Hmmm… somebody sounds happy??

Indian Cow: You bet !! listen to this one, over here in India I am God !

Pakistani Cow: Get out of here !! you are keeding me right?

Indian Cow: I swear upon Anjuman (Lollywood Actress) the only cow from our community who made it to the big screens.

Pakistani Cow: Sigh! You better not be keeding because I am a die heart Anjuman fan.

Indian Cow: I know that Gurl! And I am telling you I am having a ball here. Feeling all holy and stuff :D. He he he  

By the way How you doing?? 😉

 Pakisatni Cow: I am pretty popular here too,  I guess. They all seem to be very hospitable. Screaming; Guuy Aai Guuy Aai.  

Indian Cow: why they haven’t seen a good looking cow before 😛

 I wish everyone on WordPress a wonderful Eid. Especially the vegetarians, who are going to miss the Bar-B-Q parties.

Shaadmani o Shaadmani

People are getting married this season in Pakistan. For some strange reason people choose to get married in the holiday’s season particularly in December. Why December? Why not the rest of the eleven months, from Jan to November? People don’t divorce each other after looking at the calendar. So why marriage 😛

  Hey honey, I ve decided to divorce you on the 7^th of October. What do you say?

  

 Hmmm… I dunno, my aunty who lives in San Francisco won’t be able to attend. How about December?

  

 Honky dory! Now let’s make sweet love  🙂

   

 I hate attending marriages. It’s the most over rated occasion to party. Women with horrible sense of fashion get the opportunity to wear deafening make-up, dazzling clothes and perfumes that have a hefty proportion of saturated chloroform. The married men are there to look after the kids. You weren’t expecting Mama to appear like Madhuri Dixit and running after young Pappo with a feeder at the same time or were you? It’s the responsibility of the Man  😛 

 But no man learns from it. You have seen your uncles, your cousins, then your brothers; you name it. But nobody learns. And after few months of realization they console each other in parties of similar nature. They start by cursing Benazir and Musharraf. Than comes expert scrutiny of the Pakistani cricket team which is followed by;

   

 A:Dude, your loosing hair!

   

 B: Yes, that and loads of green (money).

   

A: How come?

B: My friend [Sigh!] when a man decides to get married; he gradually looses every good he has. In contrast his wife gains every bad she has, like weight, weight and loads of weight.   

 A: Which one is your wife by the way?  

B: You see that big sack of wet clothes on that table near the water cooler.

  A:Yes.  

B: That thing is my wife.

   

B: Which one is yours?

   

A: Can you see that woman in the red dress? Who tried to look like Ashwariya and ended up looking like Abhishek.

   

B: The one who’s fiercely rubbing that red lipstick on her jaws?

   

A: Yeah. That’s my better half.

So the question is what is there for single man? Nothing hot or sexy, I still remember how my dad uses to persuade me to attend these weddings.

  Me: Dad, I have this crucial test tomorrow. I can’t go to some stupid wedding.

  

 Dad: Son, If you are not going to attend their wedding, nobody will be present in yours.

  

 Me: Dad what are you talking about. I am only 12 years old and probably not going to get married in the coming 12 (years).

  

 Dad: Hmmmm…. There will be plenty of free ice cream.

  

 Me: So, when is the wedding again? :O

  

 Yes free meal, its the biggest attraction. You will have this old friend complaining about your absence and the next thing you know he is somewhere near the food stalls, making the pile of items on his plate. But the highlight of any Pakistani wedding is the movie session; where all who are invited get a chance to have a candid session with the bride and the groom. This session is the longest and most exhausting of all. And the poor groom has to wear this fake smile on his face all the time.

   

 Now when I think about marriage ceremonies a line from ‘A Night at the Roxubury’ comes to my mind, where the priest asks Will Farrell if he wants to take this woman as his bride and he bluntly replies;

  ‘I dunno, my father already paid the caterers 😛 ’