Posts Tagged ‘humor

19
Apr
08

new posts on ronin 2.0

Here are some exciting new posts you can catch on ronin 2.0

  1. Now this makes sense
  2. Room 404
  3. The 2nd Floor
  4. The Art of Selling
  5. Danny’s World


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08
Apr
08

what were they thinking? :P

kamran.jpg

Ladies and Gentlemen may I have your attention please. Can you tell me what are we looking at?

Voices in the audience Seems to me like a Billboard.

More on====> ammar.fuzedbulb.com

05
Mar
08

Man Woman and technicalities

it takes only one flip-flop switch to control a man, and for a woman you need a whole freaking control panel P

more on ronin 2.o 

07
Nov
07

7even 5ives

I was tagged some days back by you know who 🙂  PR3RNA!! so here are some details about me that you guys are unaware of;

 List five things that you want to say to people but never will. Don’t say who they are.

 

  1. Dude your girl is cheating on you.
  2. I don’t visit your place because I have more important things to do on Sundays, like having fun.
  3. Yes I was the one who ate your pizza.
  4. What are you looking at, never seen a khatmal in a black dress?
  5. I know what you did last summer 😛

Five Things I’d Love To Do Before I Die.

 

  1. Write a bestseller.
  2. Get rich or die trying
  3. Play all nirvana songs on my guitar.
  4. Para diving
  5. Have my very own collection of super cars 😉

Five Things I Will Not Do Even If It Kills Me.

 

  1. Listen to Abrar-ul-Haq and admire his music.
  2. Pull the famous Maulna Abdul Aziz’s stunt (cross dressing 😛 )
  3. Eat Chinese food when Italian or desi food is on the menu.
  4. Throw a vulgar comment on a girl passing by.
  5. Watch the SAW movies, people with little or no taste watch and enjoy such pathetic films 😛

Five Things I Do When I’m Away From The Public

 

  1. Have fun 😉
  2. make stories in my upper chamber
  3. Watch the Al-Pacino collection on my DVD player.
  4. Practice my dance moves 😉
  5. Blog!!

Five Fave Sentences/Quotes

  1. “Molay noo Mola na mara tey naee mardaa!! “ (nobody can kill mola jutt but mola jutt himself- Maula Jutt the film)
  2. “ Screw you guys I am going home 😛 “
  3. “Mogambo Khush hua” (Mogambo feels contented – Mr. India)
  4. “banda kutta billi paal le, khushfehmi na paley :P”
  5. “How you doing ;)”

Five Things I’ll Make You Wish You Didn’t Do, If You Did

 

  1. Pretend you know me when you don’t even have a clue.
  2. calling me a flirt
  3. Mess with the people I love the most.
  4. Talk rubbish about my religion and my country.
  5. Eat my leftover cake in the fridge.

Five People To Tag

  1. Ayaz
  2. Hassan
  3. Aliana
  4. Sumera

and BEECA 🙂

25
Oct
07

Make love not war…

haight-hippie.jpg

Once upon a time two young hippies in their late teens were walking aimlessly on the streets of Karachi.

aMms: Dude I want that new film SAW. I heard a lot about it.

Sims: oh that one, you can borrow the dvd…it’s an interesting film. Do you know the real killer was just lying on the floor through out the movie, pretending to be the dead guy. Hehe.

aMms: you know what you just did?

Sims: umm?

aMms: this is 300th time you told me the ending of a film. Your such an a-hole do you know that 😛

Sims: sorry dude 🙂 cant help it..

Sims: dude! Nice hair band.

aMms: yeah I borrowed it from my younger sis. The rubber band use to look so cheap on my pony tail 😛

Sims: it hurts too

aMms: tell me about it

The two young hippies continued to talk stupid, in the mean while a blue hi-roof passed them and stopped, both of them halted in their feet, expecting a potential mobile snatching incident to take place. The skull of a young boy came out of the window, he examined the two from head to toe and then exclaimed to the ladies in the car;

“No baji (sister) the other one is a guy as well 😛 !!”

The two ladies giggled and asked the driver to move on, the car then disappeared on the road….

Simz: ‘what exactly just happened??’

aMms voiced in a deep shock : ‘we just got served, I guess’

Sims: ‘are we supposed to take this incident to grave ?’

aMms: ‘I dunno about that but I am having a hair cut’

Sims: ‘Me too 😛 ’

02
Oct
07

How ya doing ?! ;)

joey-721633.jpg

How ya doing?! 😉

Anyone who watches Friends must be a big fan of Joey and would be quite familiar with this pick up line. Its Joey’s favorite and as a matter of fact his only pick up line. And you know the best part it always works, almost 95% of the time. But it needs somebody like Joey to pull it off. Just imagine if Maulana Fazal Ur Rehman tries this line on any hottie. The consequences would be so darn funny.

So it’s not the pickup line itself which has all the magic. It’s the guy who utters those lines. Eh? But have you ever wondered why only men feel the need of using a pickup line. I never heard a woman complaining about how difficult is to pick man. They always grumble about how to choose the right guy. In fact how to get Mr. right? That proves the fact that getting a man has never been an issue for post world war women. It’s a guy headache. We need pickup lines, months of homework and money to get the things done. Unlike women they just have to be “themselves”.

You know guys what is our biggest problem when it comes to picking up women or pickup lines in particular. We go with the clichés, the same old formula’s and lines. Every guy in his life and I really mean when I say this that every guy in his life for once, (when ever) went up to a girl. The first words that he uttered were; ‘would you like to be my friend’ and for Pakistani guys it would be ‘Would you like to have friendship with me!’ (or something similar)how stupid is that 😛 Just imagine how it sounds to a girl who never met or seen you in her entire life is enforced to have “Friendship with you!”. Guys at my school, high school, university committed the same mistake again and again i.e. telling the girl that they wanted to have friendship with her or something equally stoopid . But the message was the same. Few months ago a friend did the most stupid thing on the face of the earth. He went up to a girl and…

Stupid Friend: Excuse me!

Poor Girl: Yes?!

SF: I would like to tell you something in private (as she was with her gang )

PG: No! Just tell me what do you want? (she snapped)

SF who was already confused lost what he called his mind and uttered: You know what a young man wants with a girl 🙂

PG: WTF? @#$%@#$^$%&%^&$#%#$%$^$%&%^&^&%^&%$^56&%^&%^&

She went on and on for five minutes and my stupid friend was humiliated more then the Pakistani team when they lost to Ireland in WC2007.

yheavenfellcolor.gif

 

But these kinds of guys are better then the ones who try other ways to get up to a girl. The second kind are real jerks and use means like whistling, hooting, passing some really dim-witted and corney remarks and proudly believe that they are doing some real big favor to the world. I asked one jerk that what the f#$% he was thinking when he passed a nasty remark on that “Gurl”. His reply was;

Jerk: Keeping it real man 😀

Yes 😛 kepping it real stupid!

 

You know when I hit teenage Shahrukh Khan was my role model. Not Quaid-e-Azam Mohammed Ali Jinnah, Gandhi or Dr. Abdul Qadeer but Shahrukh Khan. Why? Because he was so damn good with women (in the movies) that he acted. A real charmer, like they have George Clooney in Hollywood. Not Salman Khan because all he ever did to charm women was stripping. Now we can’t do that in the real world. For instance if I met some hottie at Pizza Hut I wont take shirt off to impress her. But he can 😛 so the guy that we could (kind of) relate to is Sharukh Khan. Skinny, dark, short but damn is he awesome with women in all the movies.

For example;

1) In Dil wale; Kajol was a serious and obedient daughter that was engaged to a desi guy in India and was about to marry her. But our good old SRK charmed her and won her after some beating. Imagine doing that in the real world 😛

2) SRK again in Kuch Kuch hota hai, a single dad dumbed Kajol for Rani before his own marriage was able to lure her on the day when she was getting married. Poor Salman was so depressed that he forgot to take his shirt off to balance things out. Imagine pulling off what SRK did, in the real world 😛

3) Madhuri in Dil to Pagal Hai was getting married to her best friend Akshay but SRK like always comes form nowhere and the ending was so predictable. Can you do it? 😛

I think they should tell the stupid male audience when the film ends that “Don’t you freaking try this at home :P” like they tell you in WWE. So don’t try the SRK ways at home, school, college, workplace, streets etc. If SRK was this good in the real life he would not have been married to the same woman for 10 or more years 😛 hence proved these things dont work in the real world.

So what did we learn today? We learned that picking up women is one of the most difficult tasks on the planet. So if you accidentally or luckily have a lady in your life, then try to stick onto her because you wont like to go on and start from the very beginning, again 😛 and the single fellas out there when you are flirtng don’t come straight to the point and don’t be stooopid enough to tell the truth. She don’t like to hear what you want, she likes to hear, what she likes to hear 🙂

28
Sep
07

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R O N I N

A web-blog by another wanna be writer who thinks he can write

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